Thursday, May 27, 2010

Found the cheapest labor around!

For a 2 for $20 at Applebees my brother worked with me ALL afternoon pulling up the carpet in my living room. Did I mention that it was 88 degrees here yesterday and I don't have AC?

Wonder what he'll accept to pressure wash my house. :D

Wednesday, May 26, 2010


This is what my living room looked like this morning.

We started destruction around 1pm and around 8 it looked like this:

That last pic was with my blackberry. I'm beat, sue me.

It looks pretty great if you ask me! I'm going to get an area rug and we should be good to go minus a few carpet bars.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

What a day!!

This morning Avery and I headed to the park and took a walk early before the heat of the day really set in. She didn't want to stay at the park long because the slide was already too hot, her favorite thing to do at the park.

During Avery's nap I did some more work taming the jungle in the back yard. That is going to be a project in itself. Sheesh.

After Avery's nap we went and got a pool and beach ball and I set it up on the concrete slab beside my house. She LOVED IT!!

This evening my brother came over and helped me do this:

Looks GREAT!!

Tomorrow: the living room!

The list keeps growing longer and longer.

I'm excited. <3

Monday, May 24, 2010


Forgive me in advance, I'm tired. I was home from Hawaii 18 hours and went to work for three nights in a row. I just woke up from a nap. Kindly look the other way at my misspellings, your vs you're, etc.

Wait, where was I? Oh....yes.....


The trip to Hawaii was a bit stressful. The flight to Phoenix was jammed full so Avery and I were packed in like sardines for 4 hours. She did fairly well though. From Phoenix to Honolulu we were able to move to a seat with an empty next to us for a little extra room. Bless that flight attendant, there were only 2 open seats on the plane. Avery slept 15 min on each flight but was still in a very good mood, all things considered. When we finally got to our hotel and settled in and in bed it was 1am Hawaii time, 7am locally. This means that Avery had been up 24 hours with only a 30 min nap.

Hawaii was good. It was AMAZING to not have to worry about work for 6 days. It was warm and sunny everyday minus a brief time one of the days. The beach was great. My little fishy loved the water, indifferent about the sand.

Logically the only way to get the sand off of your hands is to lick them. I'm pretty sure she ended up eating a pound of sand.

My parents kept Avery for the day one of the days and my sisters, myself, and their collective significant others headed to the north shore. Waimea Bay was BEAUTIFUL. Those of you that are my Facebook friends, I posted a blackberry pic while I was there. We ate burgers at this amazing hole in the wall place while we were up there. And, we visited the Dole Plantation.

We watched a pineapple demonstration, learned how to grow our own pineapples (a two year process), ate pineapple ice cream, and did the pineapple maze.

My sister got married while we were in Hawaii.

My sister that lives in Hawaii isn't deploying after all. They don't really let you when one of these are on the way.


Hawaii was....inspiring. I had a lot of time after Avery went to bed or before she got up to sit on the balcony and reflect. It was refreshing.

I was sad to leave Hawaii, I really could have stayed longer. Minus how expensive everything is (HELLO $9 for a gallon of milk!) it really is pretty perfect.

Our first flight home was overnight. It worked out great because Avery slept the entire flight. I carried her off the plane still asleep. One of the biggest blessings of this trip, Avery has learned to sleep almost anywhere. She slept multiple times while I was carrying her in the wrap walking on the beach or on the street. Before the trip she would literally ONLY sleep in her crib or a bit in the car. But, you don't mess with this girls 13 hours a night and 3 hour naps.

The second flight home boarded on time and we were strapped in and ready to go. Mechanical issues, hooray! Flight was PACKED. Avery fell asleep. An hour and a half later we start heading to the runway. We wait in line to take off and get almost to the front of the line and turn around and head to the gate.


The pilots would time out before they landed in Cincinnati and we had to go to the gate and get NEW pilots. NEW PILOTS. An hour later we FINALLY leave the ground. Some people got off the flight since they lost their connections which allowed me to move to a different seat with more room. By this point Avery was awake and up the entire flight. She was done traveling. D-O-N-E. It was not a fun flight. For her, for me, for anyone in ear shot. At that point we'd been traveling for over 16 hours so no one could blame her. We sat on a freaking plane, on the ground, for 2.5 hours before we even started our cross country flight. I know others felt the same way she did.

Now we're back to the real world. I've spend today recovering from a red-eye flight with a one year old, then an all day flight, then right back to three nights in a row. Avery's spent the day in not much more than a diaper. It's almost 90 and so humid here. Maybe it's time to install those window air conditioners.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

We're alive!

We got home safely after some delays and I returned to work for a three in a row. My internet just started working today at home. I'm not sure what was going on with it. I'm working on uploading pictures and I'll post some for you tomorrow.

For now, off to work....

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Aloha! Greetings from Hawaii. Avery and I are haveing a great time!
She's been the best little traveler and tourist. I've been a bad picture
taker because I'm paranoid about taking my camera out. I'm gonna try today.
This is brief since 1: I'm on vacation and 2: I'm writing this on my iPod touch.
Explain everything when we get back to the mainland!

PS. To Gabba Gabba on the iPod has totally saved my life on this trip.

PPS. Dear apple, please make the screen lock while still playing a movie. My child
likes to stop the show constantly.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

So what do I do now?

The traveling opportunity seems to be losing steam. Or at least it's not chugging along at 150mph anymore.

So what do I do now?

I spent some time being angry about it. This seems like a great opportunity for me. For us. I spent just about enough time to realize that I'm angry. Then I threw up my hands and said "Well alright God. You're obviously telling me something I'm not hearing." Luckily He knows I'm a bit hard of hearing sometimes and don't always get the obvious. :)

I've been told of another opportunity. Why did this come along right now? Again, not always so great with hinting. But what the heck right? I'll put in an application, continue with the paperwork and testing for traveling and just see what happens. If it's meant to happen it will. I have no doubt about that.

God knows that I'm tired. That night shift is making me unhappy. That I miss awake/coherent/alert time with my daughter. He also knows that I rely on night shift pay. So, I'm sure he already knows exactly what I should be doing. I just need to be still and listen.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Am I the only one?

Am I the only person in the world that gets a horrible stomach ache when they are tired? I've been tired, but nothing compared to when I started working nights. I'm all OH EM GEE I COULD SLEEP PROPPED UP ON THE WALL tired. I'm so tired all the time that I frequently doze off on the way TO work at night. Not safe. Usually after my second night I get horrible stomach pains, have heart burn, and all around indigestion. Last night was my first night. Crap. I still work tonight and tomorrow night and have a class Wednesday evening/night. Thursday bright and early we head to the airport.

Sleep? Never touched the stuff.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Something sinful went down in my house

sinfully sweet.

Mommy and Grandpa snacks on the plane. (Ok, ok Avery can have one too.)

Packing is hard

I'm a compulsive over-packer. What if I NEED something while I'm away from home?

I've made a conscious effort in packing for this trip to PACK LIGHT. I think I've done really really good so far. I even managed to pack diapers, something I planned on buying there.

I feel like a drug smuggler. I also managed to pack breakfast for Avery the whole week and all her snacks. I just need to buy lunch foods and a few other things. Thankfully, there is a refrigerator and microwave in my hotel.

HOPEFULLY we're less than 50lbs!!

Friday, May 7, 2010


I SO almost drooled on my keyboard.

The edible pudding cups AMAZE me!

I totally want to make these. I SHAKE MY FIST AT YOU BAKERELLA!!

Show Us Your Life

Show Us Your Life with Kelly's Korner

Avery Grace

I had a laundry list of names before I even knew her gender. For girls I had Paisley, Lainey, Brooklyn, Landry and a few others. I think it was 6 total once I found out she was a she. I knew I wanted her middle name to be Grace or Ruby. Ruby is my paternal grandmothers name. She was a big part of my life growing up. I liked Grace because of a bible verse I had heard and really liked. I started going back to church while I was pregnant and I realized that having her middle name as Grace was really important to me. I hope to use Ruby at some point in the future.

For boys I only had two: Liam Michael and Corbin Anthony. I'm not sure why I liked the name Liam, looking back I think it would have sounded bizarre with my Amish last name. Michael is my paternal uncles middle name. He was killed in a car accident when I was in high school. He was only 8 or 9 years older than me and I can remember playing in the yard with him all the time at my grandparents house growing up. I still love the name Corbin and may use it in the future. My dad's first name is Anthony and I think it fits well with Corbin. I was 90% sure Avery would have been Corbin Anthony if she ended up being a boy.

Future Children

Do you know something I don't? IF I am ever blessed with more children I'm not sure what I will want to name them. I still want Corbin Anthony on the back burner just in case. I also think now that maybe Ruby would be cute as a first name, like grandma. I guess I just always see the little girl Ruby in my head as a barefoot, blond, straight haired kid. A stark difference from the child I knew I was carrying at the time. I knew that there was NO WAY the child I was carrying at the time could even possibly turn out like the Ruby in my head.

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Wednesday, May 5, 2010


This is my current Facebook status. And man is it ever true. The thought of going into work tonight is making me a little misty-eyed. It has been a hard week (well, extended weekend) for our floor and morale is pretty low. I feel like I've been beat up. Kicked in the gut. Add to it the fact that I haven't had more than 2 days off at a time in a few weeks. Powers that be, are you still listening? Please take note of my previous sentence and kindly stop looking at me with your sympathy and condescending tone and tell me "Ah, I remember those days" because I kind of want to hit you. IF YOU REMEMBER THEN WHY ARE YOU TORTURING OTHERS? Stop messing with my schedule! I would love for you to come in and work my schedule and see how long you can hang. Never mind that I have a CHILD that I would like to see for more than 5 or 6 hours at a time.

I've tried taking pictures a couple times in the last two weeks (only a couple, sad) and my patience is thin. I can't remember settings, they're out of focus, the white balance is off.

Tomorrow, my lone day off before a class in the middle of the day for work, followed by another lone day off followed by another three nights in a row followed by another class day. Wait...where was I? Oh yes, tomorrow my day is already full. Sleep for a few hours, mow the yard, weed, water the plants, finish cleaning the bathroom, dust the wood, start packing for Hawaii, the list goes on and on. I know I won't get all of it done tomorrow, but you can see where I'm going with this right? Back to my first paragraph with the mental health day.

Is anyone seeing why I need a change yet? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

I know I'm whining. I know I just need to suck it up. I know lots of people have lots of things going on in their life that suck. A lot. But, why live life like that? Life is short y'all. Yep, that's cliche. It's also true and this week/weekend whatever at work has more than shined a light on that. Life IS short. Maybe you'll live to be 90, maybe you'll walk in front of a car tomorrow. You don't know. You aren't SUPPOSED to know. So maybe...

just MAYBE

we should all take a little bit of time to drink milk on the porch and listen to the rain.

Monday, May 3, 2010

How to deal

with the guilt. The constant guilt. The constant kicked in the gut feeling whenever I'm reminded of it.

Avery's absent father.

I know this was his decision. I know that he made the conscious decision to not be involved or to only be involved on his terms. But, I just can't help feeling that maybe I could have done something more. I feel guilty for being the one to finally say enough was enough and cut off contact with him a month ago. He continues to call and text one or twice a week. Whenever I see it the kicked in the gut feeling returns.

Will Avery be angry with me when she's older for pushing her father out of her life? Will she understand that I did the best I could to provide her with a stable, loving home? Will she believe me that he is just no good?

It angers me that he will only see her if WE go to see HIM. That he hasn't been there for a single holiday or birthday. He decided to hang out with his friends rather than witness her birth. He missed her first words, her first steps, her first laugh. He hasn't endured a single sleepless night, a single tear from her perfect little face, a single bump or bruise. It's because of this that I don't think he is a dad at all. A dad is there for all those things. A dad cares. A dad would drive 2 hours to see his child. A dad would spend a Saturday at the zoo with his daughter instead of a basketball game with his buddies.

I couldn't keep playing the game with him. The game in which we set up a day and time to meet or a weekend for him to come over only to not hear from him. Only to get unanswered text messages and voicemail recordings. She's old enough that she will start to know what is going on. Not ok. I refuse to let my daughter go through that game with him. Messing with me is one things, messing with my child is something different. I will not tolerate it.

I think I made the right decision. Our life in the month since we haven't talked to him hasn't been as stressful. I don't screen my calls anymore. I don't dread the phone calls. I don't hear the threats. But, I still can't shake the guilt.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Last night

was a devastating night at work for me. One to make you appreciate the fragility of life and thankful for my many blessings.

All day I've been thinking about it and praying for those involved. Every time I look at Avery all I can think is "thank you". I have so much to be thankful for. Tonight I rocked Avery a lot longer before bed and didn't want to put her down.

Hug your babies a little tighter tonight.